First Facebook banned photos of breastfeeding mothers. Now YouTube has jumped on the bandwagon.

YouTube claims these photos of mothers who are rather discretely feeding their children violate the Terms of Use of their sites because such photos are inappropriate and sexually explicit.

But stripping videos are OK with them. And of course a Victoria’s Secret “pajama” commercial is fine. One called “Sexy Heidi Klum Almost Nude” apparently is not a problem, either for those Terms of Use.

If these videos of supermodels prancing around in next to nothing and home movies of girlfriends shaking their boo-TAYS are permissible and not sexually explicit in the eyes of these social networks, then why are breastfeeding photos? In both cases, the same amount of breast flesh is exposed. And breastfeeding a baby is not meant to arouse the men-folk while, I dare say, the other examples are.

And that’s really the issue here, isn’t it? It’s not really about inappropriateness, but about how women are viewed by men. Otherwise, as I might have argued before a judge in my previous life, don’t we have a distinction without a difference here?

This is just one of the more obvious ways that illustrates our society’s inherent lack of respect for women.

One type of video is meant for men’s amusement and pleasure and the other isn’t. When I was researching a story for Breast Cancer Awareness month, I asked one person I interviewed why so many companies are interested in jumping on the breast cancer awareness bandwagon and not other diseases that impact women as much, if not more?

Her answer? Sadly, that breast cancer has more sex appeal than heart disease.

This battle with Facebook and YouTube is really just a symptom of the larger lack of respect problem — the absence of real workplace policies that support women after they’ve had babies, the willingness of our schools to expect working mothers to take their time to work on projects for the kids but not working fathers, the presence of only one woman justice on the Supreme Court, and the rulings written by male justices that show that we really have not come very far in ridding ourselves of paternalistic views toward women.

While it’s impossible to tackle all the issues women and working mothers face at any given moment, there is something we can do now to promote the cause today as it relates to policies that protect breastfeeding mothers.

The League of Maternal Justice has provided a series of tips about what we can do right now to start to make change. Take a trip over there to check them out. Our voices are loud and strong when we’re getting the kids to do their chores, so why not use them to take this first step toward gaining the respect we deserve?

I won’t put up with disrespect from a second-grader. I’m certainly not to going stand for it from a bunch of men who’d have contests and awards for themselves if they were the ones in charge of the breastfeeding.

You can also find Joanne at PunditMom and MOMocrats.

In A Cantankerous Call to Action on Moms Speak Up, Victoria ranted about an article she read that reported about how we’re so busy nowadays that we have to outsource our hobbies. I thought it was a really good rant, Victoria, and I’m wondering if I can get you to give me some ranting tips for a situation I keep finding myself in.

My kids are unschooled. Yeah, we’re some of those crazy, lazy people who let our kids play video games and eat junk food all day so they’ll grow up to be bums. Well, according to a lot of people we are. We’re also the latest topic du jour on talk shows and in newspaper articles where public school teachers and the NEA condemn us for wrecking our kids’ lives. The big problem seems to be that, as everyone knows, home-schooled kids just don’t get enough socialization.

I wrote about this back in September in I Got Rhythm while in the middle of negotiations with a family whose kids go to school. We’re acquaintances rather than friends with the family and the parents are always asking us how our kids get enough socialization without being in a room with 22 other kids who are being told to be quiet and not talk to each other with other kids all day.

The parents are among the vast crowd of people who confuse socializing and socialization. My kids, like most kids, are being socialized by the people closest to them. That would be me and Geekdaddy (hmm, maybe we shouldn’t go there), extended family and friends. They’ve learned most of what they know about how to successfully and appropriately interact with other people from family and friends and also from people they meet when we’re out and about.

Socializing, on the other hand, is what they do with family, friends, acquaintances, people we meet in the community and even with dogs, cats and frogs we encounter. During the Dark Ages, as they call it, when they went to school, they weren’t allowed to socialize except during their ten minute recess and twenty minute lunch and a lot of that socializing involved fending off bullies, trying to get something to eat and looking for hats and gloves.

As for socialization … Would you want your kid socialized by 22 same-age peers and one adult stranger? My mind goes back to the kid, in my daughter’s first grade class, who tripped her when she got off the bus every day for a week before I got the bus driver to do something about it. Yeah, great role model. Or the kid in my son’s third grade class, the one who tried to pull down the girls’ pants and threatened to rape them if they told anyone. (Didn’t I just see his name in the paper? No, I remember now, it was his picture and I believe he was holding a rectangle with numbers on it.)

Up until the last two hundred or so years, humans have managed to handle their kids’ socialization and socializing without public schools. As a matter of fact, if you think about it, socialization seemed to work better before there were schools to take over that role. Learning works better at home too, we’ve found. There’s no substitute for interest-led immersion in subjects that spark passion in kids. And there’s no way that they can learn as much or socialize as much in school.

Tell me you’re worried because my daughter doesn’t know her times tables. (She’ll learn them or get really good at using a calculator before she’s an adult.) Tell me my son’s writing and spelling are years behind his artistic ability. (Art is now and will be the focus of his life forever. Spelling and writing are coming along slowly, but he’ll get there or outsource it if he needs to.) Tell me you’re worried because your kids are quoting John Holt and want to stay home all day too. Just don’t tell me my kids aren’t socialized or socializing enough or I may be forced to rant.

So, Morgan Spurlock, the guy who made the documentary Super Size Me, has decided to take on Christmas and consumerism just in time for the holidays with his new documentary, What Would Jesus Buy?

From the CCFC:

Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood is proud to be a partner on the new film What Would Jesus Buy?, a serious docu-comedy about the commercialization of Christmas. Produced by Super Size Me’s Morgan Spurlock (winner of CCFC’s 2008 Fred Rogers Integrity award) and directed by Rob VanAlkemade, What Would Jesus Buy? follows Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir as they go on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse: the end of mankind from consumerism, over-consumption, and the fires of eternal debt! Funny, provocative, and inspiring, What Would Jesus Buy? is a journey into the heart of America - from exorcising the demons at the Wal-Mart headquarters to taking over the center stage at the Mall of America and ultimately heading to the Promised Land - Disneyland. The film includes a lot about the impact of commercialization on children, including interviews with kids, parents, and CCFC’s Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint. For more information, and to find a screening near you, visit http://wwjbmovie.com/.

I’m interested in seeing this, particularly because he’ll be taking on Wal Mart and Disneyland. How about the rest of you? Super Size Me definitely made me feel sick for months, and I couldn’t even drive past a McDonald’s without feeling queasy, nevertheless, I thought it was freakin great.

Don’t mind me.  I’m just the cantankerous old lady over here.  Think of me as a female Andy Rooney complete with my own, “I don’t know about you…” rant. So here I go.

I love reading the Sunday paper.  It is an activity I look forward to all week.  Especially the Metro section of the Post.  You know what I don’t love?  I don’t love when I read articles like this one.  Essentially, the article is about how busy our lives have become these days with work, family, work, and just life in general.  We don’t have the time to wait for the cable guy or ahem change the channel for our cat to watch Animal Planet (but only the non-traumatic shows) these days. It’s sad isn’t it?

I read this and I thought, WTF?! Really?  Too busy to buy a card for your family members?  We’re too busy to scrapbook our own lives? That is what really got me. We are outsourcing our hobbies.  I’m all for a little extra help like a nanny and yes, even a personal assistant if you can afford it, but where do you draw the line?  What happens when you stop living your life and start letting other people do it for you?

I wrote about this same topic at this time last year when I went to party with a bunch of old friends.  The talk turned to how many of us have cleaning companies clean our homes. We have dog walkers and sitters. We have our kids in daycare while we work.  Our groceries are delivered to our door and our prescriptions by mail.  Anything we want can be done for us with the simple click of the mouse or a call on the phone.  This is middle class life these days.  Yet we continually feel that we don’t have enough time for ourselves.   I guess that is where the outsourcing of hobbies comes in.  How is this possible?  Why can’t we stop and realize that other people are living our lives for us? Why can’t we see how sick this makes us as a society?

I don’t claim to have all the answers but I do know this.  As a country, America has the lowest vacation rateexcept for Mexico.   We spend more time in the bathroom per year than we do on vacation.  Which isn’t saying much since my recent public restrooms visits have almost always guaranteed that I am one stall away from an important call.  That is a whole other post unto itself.  What I can say is this.  We have let ourselves get out of control.  Is this a call to action?  Perhaps.  Maybe while we are reflecting this holiday season (in our work time commute while texting) we should all think about how we can scale back not just to help our wallets but our blood pressure, ourselves and our families. 

We got the dog to walk it ourselves and love it.  Not so someone else could.  If we can’t buy birthday cards for our own kids what kind of life are we partaking in? Not much of one. We are merely viewing it from afar.  That my friends is no way to live.

Have you noticed Wal-Mart’s new slogan/tagline?

Save Money, Live Better

It would work if it wasn’t such a contradiction.

Apparently, lead tainted toys are still on the shelf , according to the US PIRG Report via Wal-Mart Watch: “…. makes clear that even if every recalled toy was taken off store shelves, many products with toxic amounts of lead would remain.” Health Care for the employees is still way below standard, even going so far as to demand its money back after paying employees medical bills!

The fact that Wal-Mart would even consider going ‘Green’ is laughable and implausible. The only kind of green they’re going for is the kind you spend. $$$$$$

(Condensed from cross post How to raise campaign funds using Miss Manners’ Guide to Wedding Registry Etiquette)

Mothers for Clean Air is a local group I recently joined. They have the same goals as I do: clean up the air, lower harmful emissions and prevent others from getting sick like I have from toxic pollutants.

If you happen to be in the Houston area, there are two important events Monday and Tuesday:

Monday, November 26, 2007

What: Candlelight vigil for health and clean air

Where: Hartman Park (9311 East Avenue P, Houston, TX 77012)

When: Monday, November 26, 7 p.m.

For more information, call Mothers for Clean Air at (713) 526-0110 or click here.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The EPA is coming to Houston on November 27 to hold a public hearing on NESHAP (National Emissions Standard for Hazardous Air Pollutants). It will be the only one of its kind in the country. The hearing will provide an opportunity to formally ask the EPA to set fair standards, so that families living close to the refineries can have a chance to breathe cleaner air.

The hearing will be held at the Hartman Park Community Center, 9311 Avenue P. The hearing will begin at 9 am and continue until 9 pm or later, if needed, with meal breaks at 12:30 and 2:00 pm.

You do not need to be an expert to testify. You can testify about how air pollution has affected you, or just that you support cleaner air.

To register to speak contact Debra Lee (EPA) at (919) 541-0860. Written comments may also be sent via email to <a-and-r-Docket@epa.gov> (Docket ID No. EPA-HQ-OAR-2003-0146).

Julie Pippert is also blogging at Using My Words

I blogged about this minutes ago at How To Find Safe Toys and I’m still seething. It’s not so much that we have one of the leaded charm bracelets and a keyring - the latter says Number1 Mom, ironically - it’s more about the Boppy Pillow. It’s for breastfeeding mothers for Pete’s sake and has a zipper that has a high lead content and also tends to fall off if a baby pulls on it too hard.

So, let’s see, you can nurse your baby and watch her choke to death or maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll just swallow the zipper pull, survive, and be slowly poisoned by lead. Hey, you might get to have her around until she’s a toddler if you’re lucky. Or maybe it doesn’t have that much lead in it. Maybe it’s only enough to screw up her brain, kidneys and nervous system. Maybe you’ve been using one of these for months and now you’re asking yourself if you’ve unknowingly poisoned this little person you love more than life, itself. And this from a product that’s advertised as “nursing support.”

This is just so wrong on so many levels. How many more times are we going to read about products that threaten our children? And we’re supposed to be reassured because, as one of the biggies in the consumer protection world said the other day, “we’re catching these products and that should make consumers breathe easier.”

I’m not breathing easier, are you?

Okay, maybe it’s just me - with 20 people coming for dinner, Thursday and getting all punchy - but, I thought this was just too funny and then not.

Have you seen this video?

“Thanks to the nearly 300,000 messages you and others have sent, lawmakers are beginning to take toy safety very seriously, but there’s still a long way to go.

Along with our new song and video, we’ve just launched a new list of changes we want lawmakers to enact this year.”

The Consumers Union seems to feel that (as parents) our message is getting through and I’d like to believe so - really, I would - I can’t help but think there are people in this world who are dealing with so much more, you know, crud and that mine (as a mom) is such a small voice, really.

No one in my house is listening, anyway.

I mean, all the videos, catchy jingles and blog posts in the world don’t add up to a hill of beans, unless the people who have the “real power” to make a change admit that it’s getting a little too, you know, loud in here!

Is anyone really listening; how does one sift through all the noise?

[Video via: Not In My Cart]

In the last week, three people have asked me what I’m doing for Black Friday. What, it’s like Christmas now? One person even asked me what I was going to wear. I don’t know if they were implying that I need to dress up in case a reporter asks me how early I got in line or whether they meant I should dress down in a sweatsuit so I can sprint and jostle and elbow tall shoppers in the groin without constraints.

So what happened to Thanksgiving? Are we multitasking holidays now, the way we do everything else at once? Do any of these people really think that I’m stupid enough to stand in freezing Maine weather at four in the morning just to get a better price on Victoria’s Secret Barbie or The Diva Dolls Do Dallas on DVD with additional footage not shown in theaters?

No, come Black Friday, which always sounds like a religious holiday to me, I’ll be tucked up in my warm bed snoring loudly enough to vibrate Geekdaddy’s pocket protector. Later on Black Friday or Mauve Monday or Taupe Tuesday or some other colored day, after a leisurely breakfast of whatever the kids didn’t scarf down like locusts, Geekdaddy and I will peruse the sales online and figure out where we want to spend the miserly sum per child we budgeted for Solstice this year. I can guarantee it won’t be at a big-box.

For one thing, there are the toy recalls which have really opened my eyes to what I want in my house — not just my kids’ toy boxes and rooms. Before I reach for my wallet, I want to know where that attractively packaged but possibly lethal toy came from. I want to know who made it, how old they were, how much they got paid and whether they were treated like a human being by their employer or forced to wait to relieve their bladders until the two 5 minute bathroom breaks they get a day. And, of course, I want unleaded not leaded when I fill up my cart.

Maybe my aversion to joining the Black Friday lemming parade is part of my unschooling philosophy or my liberal far left flaming radical political beliefs. Maybe I’m just oppositional like I’m always accusing my kids of being. (You’d kick at a football game, is what my brother says about me. No, I wouldn’t!) To my mind, this whole conspicuous (by its lack of thought for the consequences) consumption orgy is yet another symptom of so much that’s wrong with society and pop culture.

We’re trained to consume from the time we’re born and told that its for our benefit. (The big corporations are just making this stuff for us out of the goodness of their little black corporate hearts. They’re almost non-profits for goodness’ sake, absent the odd billion or two.) We get our ethical standards and values from ad slogans, corporate-sponsored TV shows and even bumper stickers. Who can forget the immortal line: He who dies with the most toys wins? Makes you want to run right over to Wally World and buy three of everything so you’ll have more, doesn’t it?

But back to Black Friday and what I’m doing that day. Well, I may be writing ad copy for my safe toy blog, How to Find Safe Toys, ironic as that may sound coming from someone who just dissed commercialism and consumers. I confess that I’ve been examining my motives vis a vis affiliate sales lately. I’ve talked it over with my spiritual advisors — my Black Lab, Jetta, and my brother, Uncle Wil the Pirate CowboyHypnotist. They’re usually pretty good at helping me see whether what I’m doing is A Good Thing or A Bad Thing. (You can’t beat Labs or Cowboys for that; they see everything in black and white.)

I (and they and most of my 100 closest friends who were bugged by me with a veritable snowstorm of emails) agree that one of the ways to fight this commercial stupidity is to offer people alternatives to it. Humans are always going to buy stuff. Heck, when archaeologists dig up Early Human graves, there’s stuff in there that was buried with them. Yes! Early Humans had stuff too and probably had to move to a bigger cave every few months to store it all. Like crows, human adults and children are attracted to shiny pebbles, glitz and glitter and things that whir and move. (Also to things that need batteries, but that’s another post.)

My list of safe toy companies provides an alternative to the malls and big box stores. You don’t have to wear your heels to gouge other shoppers’ insteps. You can buy dolls that don’t need contraceptives or a motel room for pretend play. Blocks and toy trains with non-toxic paint are still on the menu for toddlers who put everything in their mouths - and that would be all toddlers in my experience. (Some tweens and teens too.) Best of all, when we shop at ethical companies, we’re supporting a better world in my view. My bottom line is that I think it’s way better to buy fewer toys and better toys from companies that treat their customers and the earth with respect. And, of course, that goes for everything else, not just toys. That’s why, this Black Friday, I won’t be in line; I’ll be in bed.

It’s time to shop, reflect, give thanks, eat! During the upcoming feasting and holiday celebrations, may we celebrate in particular the individuals who are changing the world’s story with the strength of their commitment; a story in which currently every other child lives in poverty, almost half of all war casualties are children, and global warming threatens every child’s future.

Let’s take time to honor mothers like the late Dame Anita Roddick who said, “I want to connect with people who share my outrage…But I also want to tell — and hear…stories that lift our spirits, that celebrate how glorious our planet is. Outrage and celebration — let’s run this gamut together.”

Inspired leaders like Greg Mortenson who says, “When I look into the eyes of the children in Pakistan and Afghanistan, I see the eyes of my own children full of wonder. I hope that we each do our part to leave them a legacy of peace.”

Mamas and community builders like Tiffany Bellah, who says, “Having a baby changes everything. Since that wonder-filled day 6 years ago when Grace entered this world, I have been reaching out of my comfort zone. She has made of me a responsible revolutionary, and my role as her mentor and mother has propelled me to take an active part in forming the world she will be inheriting.”

People who, when our common family is threatened, find the courage and strength to change the story. This holiday season, Mothers Acting Up* cheers, stomps, whistles and in every other way honors the individuals around the world who are taking action on behalf of our future generations. YES!!!!

Purchase the 2008 MAU Handbooks for story-changing individuals,
information and actions: www.mothersactingup.org

*mothers and others, on stilts or off, who exercise protective care over someone smaller