My friends and I decided to take the kids and go out to lunch today. I had just given my friend Cynthia a thank you note and gift card to Starbucks.
“Thank you for the gift card!” she said.
“You’re welcome,” I said, “I nearly got you something practical, but I know you drive past Starbucks every day so this way you can treat yourself a little.”
“I will,” she said, “And oh, by the way, did you hear that some Christian group is calling for a boycott of Starbucks, because of their logo? The new retro one? They said it shows breasts.”
“ARGH!” I yelled, right in the middle of the restaurant, “I am so offended!”
But I’m not offended by Starbucks; I’m offended that some group thinks that breasts are so obscene that the group members, and everyone else for that matter, should boycott a coffeehouse because it shows a little curve of a breast on an illustration of a mermaid.
Breast. Breast. Breast. Breast. Breast. A mammary gland that sits on every woman’s chest at some point, at least. Prone to cancer. Useful for supporting bodices. Intended to nurse our young. A body part.
So what do I say to this group?
It won’t shock you to find out I say grow up, get a life and focus on some real problems.
So you look at a drawing and because you are constantly on the hunt for obscenity and evil, it somehow struck you people that the mermaid illustration looks like a spread-legged prostitute (really? How do you know what one looks like, oh thou holier than thou self-righteously indignant folk? And does a spread-legged prostitute look that different than a spread-legged wife? Just wondering.) . Your next logical leap is that everyone should boycott this coffeehouse.
For real? Get real.
Here’s an idea, my rolling holy friends, why not do your part to save the planet and take in your own coffee mug to Starbucks? That way your delicate sensibilities won’t be offended by a little cleavage on a cartoon logo on a disposable cup. (By the way, since you’re so worried about Good v. Evil, do you recycle these cups?)
Or feel free to avoid Starbucks. Shorter lines for me! But quit trying to bring some sort of bully tactic boycott pressure to force a coffeehouse to change its logo. It won’t work for me; I’m more likely to buy more coffee there now, in support of the mermaid.
Have to support the sisters! (No pun intended.)
Luckily your tactic won’t work on Starbucks, either. The chain announced that the illustration—based on a 16th century Norse woodcarving—will be around for the duration of the special appeal to customers to not cut lattes from their budgets completely.
And if you want to find something really obscene—because breasts simply aren’t, not in artistic, historical illustrations or in nursing baby’s mouths—I’ll be glad to point your in a fewdirections. We can start with the rising homeless problem in the US, the overly complicated processes returning veterans have to wade through while injured, or how about China or Myanmar?
But not the breast. Let me say it again to be clear:
Breasts are not by their very nature obscene. Period. It’s that simple. It’s context and intent that make something obscene. We can’t keep making breasts something that is obscene just by virtue (no pun intended) of being a breast. It asks women to be ashamed of a part of their body. No. No and no. Not anymore.
Julie also rants on Using My Words and raves on MOMocrats.
I dont want to see any of them! That doesnt mean that I dont appreciate the human body for what it is, and appreciate the beauty of it. Theres just a time and place for everything. 
i totally agree with you! Thanks for speaking up!
