Despite my strong opinions on most things (no!) and apparent urge to share them, I continue to surprise myself by failing repeatedly to attend protests. I also don’t post political signs in my yard. Not for any good reason I can think of - or recall, anyway. Recently, though, I’ve been considering changing my ways - mostly to allow my children to experience protesting, to let them see how it can feel to strongly object to something the larger society supports, to stand up for their beliefs, and to exercise a freedom that I don’t appreciate nearly enough.

I thought about it some more one morning this week when we noticed peace supporters waving anti-war signs (OK, giant bed sheets) about a local peace protest. It took my 4 & 1/2-year-old son less than 10 seconds to start pumping the questions: Mama, why are those people holding those signs? What do they say?

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I love our country’s Bill of Rights (without which our opportunities to SPEAK UP might be a wee bit limited) and am not as regularly thankful for it as I should be. So… thank you, James Madison!

So I was pretty happy the other day when I stumbled across another Bill of Rights, and just like one of the original 13 states, I signed it. Though not with a quill, I must admit, as they did back in 1787. Since it’s electronic, you too can sign this very on-point Work & Family Bill of Rights. How needed is this?? Here’s how it starts:

Families face a shortfall of time and money for care. A majority of America’s children have no one at home full-time to care for them, while others, including the elderly and people with disabilities, increasingly need care. Jobs divide employees into those with high pay, benefits, but long hours and little time for family or leisure, and those with low wages, few benefits, and insufficient flexibility and financial resources to care for their families. We can and should do better. Working families have fundamental rights to financially sustain and to care for themselves and their families. These rights include… Read the rest of this entry »

We workin’ mamas do love to complain about the lack of flexible options in our own and other workplaces (got a 1/2 hour??). Ever dream of working fewer hours to pick the kids up from school yourself, still doing meaningful work that pays the same as your full-time gig? Dying to spend more time doing crafts? Helping with homework? Not pumping?All good stuff that can be awfully challenging within the confines of a conventional 40+ hour work week. So, if you need to work, want to work, whatever your schtick, and you’re seeking more flexibility to tip the scales a bit more toward the home life, one option is job sharing. Or so I’ve heard.

When I returned to full-time work when my first child was three months old, I worked four 10-hour days - ugh. But lucky, lucky for me my husband took the next three months off; he could because he’s self-employed; no health benefits but there are serious upsides - namely flexibility and control over the almighty schedule. At the time there was a whole spread in our local paper about two public school teachers who job shared a classroom. I was amazed. And so jealous. As with anything, of course, there are trade-offs - pros and cons for both the job sharers and their workplace. But I can only imagine because I’ve never known anyone to do it. Which is precisely why I’m asking you!! Read the rest of this entry »

By Ann Bibby

Does anyone remember Ally McBeal? And her therapist? The one who suggested she find a theme song for herself? I have a soundtrack for my life. I think that most people do. Perhaps it’s not appropriate but The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go is my theme music of late.

When I emigrated to Canada not quite a year ago with my then nearly five year old daughter, it was with the understanding that I would be taking the 2008/09 school year off. My husband to be was in a position that allowed me to be a stay at home mother for the first time in my child’s life and my status as an immigrant meant that I couldn’t seek employment until I’d gone through the process of becoming a permanent resident anyway. I was set to work on my writing and be just a wife and mother. Note the order of the aforementioned and the word “just”. Telling is it not?

I came of age in the early 80’s. During the “women can have it all” phase of the movement. I fell in line like so many others. Got my degree. Established my “career”. Married and procreated in my middle 30’s - barely.

And I discovered that I could not “have it all”. Read the rest of this entry »

Not that you have loads of reading time or anything. And not like a report titled Family Values at Work: It’s About Time would, say, make you put down your Wonder Time or Brain, Child magazine (or The New Yorker if you didn’t cancel it like I did to prevent the 3-foot high bedside pile-up!).

That said, you really oughta read it!! It was just published by a group with the inspiring name MultiState Working Families Consortium (eight forward-thinking states - yours?). And it’s all there. The whole conundrum: The problems with caring for sick children, the embarrassing state of maternity leave in our country, the lack of workplace flexibility, the fact that U.S. policies haven’t adjusted to the fact that June Cleaver took her apron off and has a corner office now, and on and on.

An overview of the report should lure you in: Read the rest of this entry »

I love that there’s an organization called A Better Balance that works solely to improve the whole work-family balance conundrum. They describe themselves this way:

A Better Balance is a legal advocacy organization dedicated to empowering individuals to meet the conflicting demands of work and family without sacrificing their economic security. We are engaging government and the private sector to bring about systemic change. Since 2005, we have been working to help people across the economic spectrum care for their families without losing their jobs or suffering other discrimination because of their family responsibilities. Workers should not have to face impossible choices between earning a paycheck and caring for their loved ones.

Like, I couldn’t have said it better myself, mamas. So when they come calling, I wanna help. And they are calling. They are asking people who work a reduced schedule to complete a questionnaire about their experiences, which they describe like this: Read the rest of this entry »

Yup. The famed Oregon primary came and went. Sure, I voted - always do. But my intentions were to stay up to speed, volunteer even, and generally be a part of it all. But honestly, this whole following politics & speaking up while parenting thing is no easy task. I started out strong, catching Obama in person awhile back on my Friday off (with my 2-year-old in tow!). But then, it was as if I went to the basement to do the laundry, came back upstairs, and the primary had come and gone. Just. like. that.

More than anything, this election season has left me feeling like it’s no wonder we parents can’t win, because we just can’t get there - not our bodies and not our minds. Attend a policy planning meeting at 10 AM Wednesday in the state capital - where I don’t even live? Uh, I’m working and have so little leave that I can’t use it for anything but sick kids. Write a letter to my representatives? Sure, but at midnight when my energy for it all is at a low point and my husband would prefer I give it a rest, you know? Read the rest of this entry »

By Christine Escobar

When writers fail to come up with reasons to explain the multitude of ways families make sleep work for them, it seems they default to blaming other parents to make sense of children who don’t fit into a neat and tidy sleep category. Stay at home parents and working parents are all too well aware of the “mommy wars” manufactured by mainstream media to gain ratings and readership.

These types of parenting wars only fuel the distrust of families toward each other and increase parents’ insecurity about their own instinctive parenting skills. Concerned parents find themselves relying on outside “experts” and “coaches” to give the answers that conscious parenting reveals simply through one on one communication.

In recent months, within these same parent writing circles, there appears to be a stronger backlash against attachment parenting families who co-sleep, with some writers scapegoating this choice as the bad seed that starts a spiral of failure for all parents. To validate their own arguments, these writers feel the need to downplay and denigrate other families’ choices, going so far as to throw statistics around loosely in desperation.

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While the saying goes: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, we all know that is just wishful thinking. Of course words can and do hurt people all the time. After a recent parent-teacher conference for my 5-year-old son, I am reminded how mean kids can be to each other (he needs to work on better communicating the “we don’t want to play with you now” message). And while kids are often mean to each other on purpose, they also hurt people’s feelings unintentionally when they don’t understand how their words affect others.

And, mamas, were it only our kids! We adults are also guilty of hurting people with our words when we don’t quite know how best to say something - or, in some cases, don’t know there is a best way. Over the past few years riding public transit with my kids, I have answered some pretty direct questions about people sitting right next to us - the kind of questions that make all the ears on the bus perk up to see what happens next, to see just what I’m gonna say. And truth be told, often I’m as curious as they are! Read the rest of this entry »

When I first heard the report about a Catholic Church in Minnesota filing a restraining order against a mother with an autistic son, I couldn’t believe my ears. 

While hearing and reading about this issue I keep returning to one thought.  Read the rest of this entry »