In the last week, three people have asked me what I’m doing for Black Friday. What, it’s like Christmas now? One person even asked me what I was going to wear. I don’t know if they were implying that I need to dress up in case a reporter asks me how early I got in line or whether they meant I should dress down in a sweatsuit so I can sprint and jostle and elbow tall shoppers in the groin without constraints.

So what happened to Thanksgiving? Are we multitasking holidays now, the way we do everything else at once? Do any of these people really think that I’m stupid enough to stand in freezing Maine weather at four in the morning just to get a better price on Victoria’s Secret Barbie or The Diva Dolls Do Dallas on DVD with additional footage not shown in theaters?

No, come Black Friday, which always sounds like a religious holiday to me, I’ll be tucked up in my warm bed snoring loudly enough to vibrate Geekdaddy’s pocket protector. Later on Black Friday or Mauve Monday or Taupe Tuesday or some other colored day, after a leisurely breakfast of whatever the kids didn’t scarf down like locusts, Geekdaddy and I will peruse the sales online and figure out where we want to spend the miserly sum per child we budgeted for Solstice this year. I can guarantee it won’t be at a big-box.

For one thing, there are the toy recalls which have really opened my eyes to what I want in my house — not just my kids’ toy boxes and rooms. Before I reach for my wallet, I want to know where that attractively packaged but possibly lethal toy came from. I want to know who made it, how old they were, how much they got paid and whether they were treated like a human being by their employer or forced to wait to relieve their bladders until the two 5 minute bathroom breaks they get a day. And, of course, I want unleaded not leaded when I fill up my cart.

Maybe my aversion to joining the Black Friday lemming parade is part of my unschooling philosophy or my liberal far left flaming radical political beliefs. Maybe I’m just oppositional like I’m always accusing my kids of being. (You’d kick at a football game, is what my brother says about me. No, I wouldn’t!) To my mind, this whole conspicuous (by its lack of thought for the consequences) consumption orgy is yet another symptom of so much that’s wrong with society and pop culture.

We’re trained to consume from the time we’re born and told that its for our benefit. (The big corporations are just making this stuff for us out of the goodness of their little black corporate hearts. They’re almost non-profits for goodness’ sake, absent the odd billion or two.) We get our ethical standards and values from ad slogans, corporate-sponsored TV shows and even bumper stickers. Who can forget the immortal line: He who dies with the most toys wins? Makes you want to run right over to Wally World and buy three of everything so you’ll have more, doesn’t it?

But back to Black Friday and what I’m doing that day. Well, I may be writing ad copy for my safe toy blog, How to Find Safe Toys, ironic as that may sound coming from someone who just dissed commercialism and consumers. I confess that I’ve been examining my motives vis a vis affiliate sales lately. I’ve talked it over with my spiritual advisors — my Black Lab, Jetta, and my brother, Uncle Wil the Pirate CowboyHypnotist. They’re usually pretty good at helping me see whether what I’m doing is A Good Thing or A Bad Thing. (You can’t beat Labs or Cowboys for that; they see everything in black and white.)

I (and they and most of my 100 closest friends who were bugged by me with a veritable snowstorm of emails) agree that one of the ways to fight this commercial stupidity is to offer people alternatives to it. Humans are always going to buy stuff. Heck, when archaeologists dig up Early Human graves, there’s stuff in there that was buried with them. Yes! Early Humans had stuff too and probably had to move to a bigger cave every few months to store it all. Like crows, human adults and children are attracted to shiny pebbles, glitz and glitter and things that whir and move. (Also to things that need batteries, but that’s another post.)

My list of safe toy companies provides an alternative to the malls and big box stores. You don’t have to wear your heels to gouge other shoppers’ insteps. You can buy dolls that don’t need contraceptives or a motel room for pretend play. Blocks and toy trains with non-toxic paint are still on the menu for toddlers who put everything in their mouths - and that would be all toddlers in my experience. (Some tweens and teens too.) Best of all, when we shop at ethical companies, we’re supporting a better world in my view. My bottom line is that I think it’s way better to buy fewer toys and better toys from companies that treat their customers and the earth with respect. And, of course, that goes for everything else, not just toys. That’s why, this Black Friday, I won’t be in line; I’ll be in bed.

It’s time to shop, reflect, give thanks, eat! During the upcoming feasting and holiday celebrations, may we celebrate in particular the individuals who are changing the world’s story with the strength of their commitment; a story in which currently every other child lives in poverty, almost half of all war casualties are children, and global warming threatens every child’s future.

Let’s take time to honor mothers like the late Dame Anita Roddick who said, “I want to connect with people who share my outrage…But I also want to tell — and hear…stories that lift our spirits, that celebrate how glorious our planet is. Outrage and celebration — let’s run this gamut together.”

Inspired leaders like Greg Mortenson who says, “When I look into the eyes of the children in Pakistan and Afghanistan, I see the eyes of my own children full of wonder. I hope that we each do our part to leave them a legacy of peace.”

Mamas and community builders like Tiffany Bellah, who says, “Having a baby changes everything. Since that wonder-filled day 6 years ago when Grace entered this world, I have been reaching out of my comfort zone. She has made of me a responsible revolutionary, and my role as her mentor and mother has propelled me to take an active part in forming the world she will be inheriting.”

People who, when our common family is threatened, find the courage and strength to change the story. This holiday season, Mothers Acting Up* cheers, stomps, whistles and in every other way honors the individuals around the world who are taking action on behalf of our future generations. YES!!!!

Purchase the 2008 MAU Handbooks for story-changing individuals,
information and actions: www.mothersactingup.org

*mothers and others, on stilts or off, who exercise protective care over someone smaller

With the holidays coming up and all of these recalls behind us (and more to come ahead, for sure), what’s a parent to do? Well, don’t go to Wal-Mart or Toys ‘r Us, for Christ Sakes!!!

There are plenty of alternatives if you shop around and know where to look.

Nova Toys (based in Vermont) has a great selection of toys and clothes that are all natural-crafted of wood and natural fibers. One of the reasons I love this company is because of this Lap Loom and these amazing kitchens. More info here. You can order directly from their site, or grab one of their catalogs.

Vermont Wooden Toys company. Also based in Vermont (obviously). From their site:

Vermont Wooden Toys offers 125 varieties of fine wooden toys. We feature wooden toy trucks, wooden toy trains, rocking horses, wooden building blocks, riding toys, wooden toy boats & airplanes, wooden pull toys, doll furniture, doll cradles & doll carriages, wooden Noah’s arks, unit block sets, and much more.

Maple Landmark Woodcraft. These people have it going on and are serious. Everything-from rattles, to ornaments to building blocks, games and housewares- is handcrafted in Vermont, they have a guarantee you probably won’t see at Wal-mart or any other store. They are also one of the few companies I have run across with a statement on China as well as a ‘No China’ symbol blatantly displayed on the front page.

There is, of course, Cool Mom Picks Safer Toy Guide, The Toy Action Guide from TRUCE, as well as Miguelina’s China-Free Christmas: A Resource List (I noticed Maple Landmark Woodcraft made it on her list as well!) to peruse.

A slightly expanded list appears over at MotherVerseBlog: Mothering Out Loud 

I’ve got an odd coupling here for you all, but I wanted to provide some follow-up to two of my posts. On the heels of the Mexican parents who were detained and deported without a chance to contact their 11-year-old son, we recently had a Haitian mother who was detained and forced to stop breastfeeding her 5-month-old daughter.

On October 15, Francieuse Lafortune’s appeal to stay in the U.S. was denied, and she was immediately detained, a move that in effect forced her to abruptly stop breastfeeding her baby. For those of you who have breastfed or who are in the medical community, you know how traumatic such an abrupt separation can be. And in reality, it was not even necessary, since it is not unusual to grant supervised release to someone who has been given a deportation order.

The good news is that Lafortune has been released (under supervised release, which, duh, they should have done from the beginning!) and reunited with her daughter and husband. You can read the short news report here.

Next, I had told you guys about Publix Super Market’s fabulous “green” bags. Guess who has a similar bag now? JC Penney! I know! I was shopping there the other day (don’t judge! They have some great stuff now, plus a decent petites selection), and they kept making announcements over the loudspeaker about their new environmentally-friendly, reusable shopping bags. So when I got up to the counter to pay, I asked about it, and for $1.49 (seems to be a popular price) I got a large, beige shopper made of the same material as the Publix ones. It’s pretty neat! Incredibly roomy, with large handles. I could easily take this one bag to the mall and need nothing else (and if I do, at $1.49 a pop, they’re a steal). So, kudos JC Penney!

Cross-posted from The Mummy Chronicles-

Silly me. Just last week I told my mother it was a-ok to buy T.D. costumes but just NO DISNEY PRINCESSES. I said yes to fairies and would actually rather her wear something off a clearance rack from a Halloween store. Bottle of Ketchup? Sure. Hershey Kiss? That is fine with me. Jasmine from Aladdin? Whoa there! Wait just a minute.

I have a rule in our house about toys like this. No princesses, no divas and no queens. I don’t like commercialized bedding or clothing either. A Dora t-shirt. Not in this house. I highly discourage people buying this stuff for T.D. for many reasons. First, I think it looks cheap. Second, as if there isn’t enough advertising thrown at kids. Why continually have it in my house? I’m getting off track here. I’m really worried about the whole Princess Mentality with T.D. I guess after reading article I should be more worried about her overall wardrobe choosiness.

When I read this, “Ten-year-old Ashley Parks said she admires the Pussycat Doll look.
I like how it’s sexy,” she said.” I about puked into my coffee. At ten I had no idea what sexy was. I just knew I wanted to have long flowing hair and I would wear a turtleneck on my head with the shirt flowing down my back to make my “hair” longer. The fact that people buy and companies make (because people buy them!) padded bras, pimpwear and thongs for the under 10 set is so disturbing to me. We worry so much about the safety of our neighborhoods and have websites tracking where pedophiles live yet we buy thongs and teeny tiny skirts and cleavage revealing tops for our six year-olds? Low riders for four year-olds? Doesn’t anyone recall that a pimp is not something to aspire too?

I wore my first thong to my Sr. Prom because I knew that VPL is a fashion no-no. I wasn’t trying to be sexy. That damned thing was uncomfortable. My white little 17 year old butt hadn’t seen the sun since I was a toddler so who would deem that sexy? Besides I still wasn’t into the whole looking sexy thing even then. I wanted to be beautiful in a classic Jackie O/Grace Kelly type of way. I wanted grace, elegance, a Chanel suit and big sunglasses. Guess I was a total tool who didn’t know fashion according to these girls.

I really think the whole thing that bugs me about this tarted up toddler look is that it warps the young kids mind. Being sexy is a state of mind not just the clothes you wear. Having them dress like that so young puts so much emphasis on how a kid looks and not what they can do or be. It’s incredibly sad to me. The parents are letting a company and a child dictate so much. There are other alternatives in kids wear out there. Not to mention the small fact that these items are tasteless and setting up a whole change of bad fashion no-no’s in the years to come. A middle school class photo will look like the Saturday night holding pen at at police station full of low-class hookers.

Harsh? Maybe, but I think we need to be if kids are looking to Kimora Lee Simmons for fashion advice and parents are buying half shirts and low cut tops for five year-olds. What’s next crotchless panties and fishnets in pre-school?
Mad and sick enough yet? I thought so.

My three-year-old son is infatuated with all things Cars. The Disney characters adorn the walls of his room, he sleeps (sometimes?) in a racecar bed wrapped in Mater and Lightning McQueen printed sheets, and I do believe we have every single Cars toy ever made.

When I read that Target was recalling the magnetic game pieces that accompanied Cars themed backpacks, I instantly began to worry. Do we have this backpack, I wondered. I know Grandma bought Dawson a Cars backpack for his birthday, but I don’t remember anything magnetic on it.

From the report:

About 110,000 magnetic game pieces that accompanied Cars themed backpacks sold at Target were recalled because the toys can be swallowed by young children. The gray and red backpacks were sold with four magnetic game pieces that can fall out of their plastic enclosure, and the game pieces were made in China.

The agency said there have been three reports of a magnet that became loose but no injuries have been reported. Small children can swallow a magnet, and if more than one magnet is swallowed they can attract each other and cause intestinal perforation or blockage.

The vinyl backpack is not being recalled and is safe for children to use. (Well that’s a relief. I think?)

The Consumer Product Safety Commission posted a photograph of the recalled product on its Web site at: http://www.carsbackpackrecall.com/.

I’m getting a little sick of worrying about toys being recalled for lead and choking hazards. For a Safer Toy Guide, click here! The moms of Cool Mom Picks are here to help us decide which toys are safe and which ones are not. Thank the heavens!

Cross-posted from Ms. Booty Homemaker Explains It All To You.
Ever in an effort to simplify, go greener by reduction of my family’s carbon footprint, and live in a way that jives with ideals and principles, I’ve recently made a commitment to shy from conventionally raised meats in favor of locally humanely and free range / grass fed animals. We women of this country, as the buyers of most things our households require, exercise the greatest purchasing power of all: 83% of all spending in the US, according to Time Magazine. And because right is right to do and because it really does matter where we put our money, as we are an economical force ripe and ready to create change that does ALL of us good, I’m doing what I can, when I can, both for the nutritive and ethical health of my family and for the good of my community, and my planet. Lofty? Yeah. Elitist? I hope not.

I’ve gone round and round about this from multiple standpoints, and while my Mister still regularly purchases chicken livers from the Kroger deli in throwaway plastic clamshell packaging, I feel it’s important and worthwhile to continue to do our part as a whole. We’ve had a CSA membership with Delvin Farms for several years now, and now, along with some mama friends, I’ve sought out local humane sources for the meat that our family continues to choose to eat. Vegetarian for a number of years, I’ve found that I just do better with meat, and feel strong and best about it when the source is right. To that end, this week has had a gaggle of us running from one end of town to the other with a host of coolers and drop off and pick up points for whole processed chickens from a Centreville family, and both beef and lamb from a Mennonite farmer just over the Kentucky line.

All of this took a great deal of coordination and phone calls and emails and such, as this is the beginning of something we hope will sustain our community farmers, AND our families for some time to come. One morning as Maria and I hammered out some details by telephone, Ziggy and another child I’ve been watching occasionally played on the swingset and in our backyard sandbox. “You know,” said Maria, “sometimes we might complain about how much all this effort is taking and I have to call so and so again, but think of the community we’re building around this!”

Right she is. We’re also compelled, in these interactions, to rely on one another, to share our lives and to become less isolated. For me, a highly social being with a not so social husband who is gone from home seven days a week, this is critical. As it is for our very social toddler. The Mister, by his own admission, benefits from this network of community though he himself is not drawn toward growing it or maintaining it in large part. I have to say, however, that he is appreciative and involved when called on, as we have all relied heavily on one another in times of distress (illness, hospitalizations, marital strife, work loads…) AND in times of celebration (weddings, births, housewarmings and birthday parties). Too, during these get togethers (in person, by telephone, and online) based on task, we plan up additional projects, share recipes, pass along toys and clothing from one child to another, support one another’s businesses and organizations and in general create a larger nest for our respective broods.

These friends, these connections, keep me wed to not just my husband (five years right ’round the corner) but also to my *life* in a deep way. Spiritually, ethically,  socially, with joy and with gratitude. They keep me accountable and I enjoy that, seeing the rewards reaped for my boy and my man, in addition to my own self. Like I said, I’m social, and I recognize that not everyone shares this need for symbolic hand-holding round the pot of Stone Soup, but for those of us that do, finding our tribe is vital to our wellbeing.

And good food– sown, grown, harvested and then prepared with some local lavish love– binds us all together. Of late, that meant fresh salsas and simply *amazing* vegetable enchiladas for our Fall Fiesta, a combination housewarming and second birthday party for our boy. There’ve been salads and farm fresh egg sandwiches, and this very morning, butternut pancakes, in response to Ziggy’s request for “Cake, please, Mommy!” in all likelihood a holdover craving from the pumpkin chocolate chip concoction for aforementioned party. And then last night there was this marvelous soup, as sustaining for the spirits as for the nurturing of the bodies of my family.

In thinking of how to best marry a chicken I thawed with a slew of goodies from my most recent CSA share, I was pondering on fall and warmth and came up with a nice variation on sweet potato chicken soup.

Sweet Potato Chicken Soup with Greens

Ingredients:

1 small whole chicken
Olive oil, pat of butter
3-4 ribs celery, chopped
1 carrot, sliced in half moons
2 onions, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 red Hungarian pepper, minced
4-6 cloves garlic, chopped
5 small – medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
Salt, pepper, cinnamon
1 bunch mustard greens, chopped

Boil chicken in liberally salted water and cool in its own broth. Sautee celery, carrot, onion, peppers, garlic in olive oil w/ a small pat of butter until all are slightly caramelized. Pull cooled chicken (will be warm, but NOT hot) from the broth. Add veggies to the broth pot and boil gently. Salt and pepper soup, add a dash of cinnamon. Pick cooled chicken, discarding skin and fat, save the bones in a freezer zip lock for soup another time. You can cube chicken or leave in rough pieces. Ten to fifteen minutes prior to when you want to eat soup, add your greens (use any dark fall / winter green) to the top of the soup pot and place lid back on, allowing them to steam but retain bright green color.

I would have made this spicier, but declined to do so in favor of the boy’s palate, which enjoys spice but not hothothot. The Mister and I seasoned our bowls of soup with the deliciously tangy green Tobasco sauce.

I imagine you could do this soup with any slightly sweet winter squash in place of the sweet potatoes. You could add a shot of lime and tortilla chips and add cumin to the seasoning. Canned tomatoes and / or green chiles would also be nice here. The variations are endless. In this one, the cinnamon with the spicy pepper and the Tobasco was really nice and very Autumnal.

I’m a semi-progressive half-lazy wannabe-better environmentalist. I ordered cloth diapers before my son was born and chose diaper champ over diaper genie in preparation for being an oh-so-environmentally-conscious mom. But then the diapers were too big for my son and we used disposables *temporarily* and now he’s three months old and still in plastic and chemicals. So that’s me. I’m trying to be better but I’m not always successful.

I tell myself that trying is a step in the right direction. Knowing I need to change my wasteful ways is the first step in actually changing them.

At the same time, I have absolutely zero aspirations to live in a cooking oil-powered RV for a year or to live off only what I can make, grow, or barter for. I admire folks who do take on these challenges and who are making a much bigger difference than I’ll ever make, environmentally speaking. But I’m not even all that likely to go organic.

Or at least not all the way.

Recently my sister-in-law sent me a link to this: the Environmental Working Group’s wallet guide to pesticides in produce. It tells you flat out what to buy organic and what you’re probably safe buying non-organic.

Now this is something I think I can take to heart. And to the grocery store with me. How nice.

I stumbled on a great article reminding us that there are seemingly endless ways to give back to the world. And seeing we are on the fringe of another holiday shopping season, why not think about giving a gift that could directly impact a person or group immediately?

Unique charities are popping up all over the place, providing you a chance to donate in the most unusual manner.

Buy a cow, a tree, a water buffalo, a knitting basket… and you’ll be sure to leave someone in a third world community with a gift that keeps on giving long after your check clears.

Better yet, surprise a hard to buy for loved one with a donation in their name. Beats another generic red tie in a box or a sweater that doesn’t fit!

For more info, check out the link above or visit www.heifer.org or www.oxfam.org

Earlier this year, Publix Super Markets announced that it would no longer buy milk from cows that are treated with the hormone rBST.

This decision is driving some immediate results:  almost all dairy farmers in Florida are no longer using the hormone on their cows. In one simple move, Publix has forced an industry to change and meet the demands of consumers who want natural and naturally produced food.

You can read the news story here.