by Ann Bibby 

I don’t like to admit being a feminist at all. So much about the movement still seems exclusive to me.

My generation grew up between the second wave and the third. Victims of the “having it all” ideals of our elder Boomer sisters, but without the benefits of  our younger Gen X sisters who grew up in a system that on the surface seemed to have leveled out the playing field.

I don’t believe that we have “come a long way” or that the gains made benefit women who fall outside the white-collar, college educated, upper-middle class category.  I think that in some instances feminism threw the baby out with the bath water.

But I do believe there is no reason for the sexism that still exists when it comes to politics or the way career women are portrayed in the media. And I think the “mommy war” debate is counterproductive. It is past time for women to  steer clear of it. Read the rest of this entry »

 by Ann Bibby

Down in the lower 48 school started for most children a week or more ago, but here the day after Labor Day is the first day of school, a consequence of a summer that arrives late and leaves early.

For the first time since we moved to Canada - actually in my entire adult working life -  I will be the master of my time from 7:59 until late in the afternoon when the bus drops my child off at our front door again. Seven hours. Mine for the writing, the reading, the yoga-burning and running.

So why am I worried? Read the rest of this entry »

I’m so excited to be invited to regularly cross-post on Moms Speak Up! My mission is to revolutionize the perception of Girlness and the Culture of Girlness. Please visit Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me to find out how. Thanks for having me.

by Tracee Sioux

Yesterday, we discussed Self-Objectification and Low Self-Esteem.

I loath problems without solutions and complaints that make us feel powerless. So, here’s a list of 10 Antidotes to Self-Objectification and Sexualization of Girls.

* Media Literacy - talk to girls about the images they see. Point it out when there is obvious digital retouching like in Keira Knightly Stands Up for Her Girls and Yours.
Watch Dove’s Onslaught campaign with her and discuss it. If it’s age-appropriate take her to the Natural Breast Gallery and talk about how different the images of women in media are than the bodies of real women. Tell her about Photoshop and discuss the motives of the media to sell products by misrepresenting women’s bodies.

* Athletics - A focus on the body that is nonsexual, athletics focuses on competency, agency and action. As participation in sports increases, participation in risky sexual-activity decreases. Taekwondo and soccer are good choices. The report sites cheerleading and dance as less empowering types of athletics due to the focus on appearance, sexiness, and thinness.

* Extracurricular Activities - Girl Scouts, band, after-school programs like Girls Inc., drama club, band, computer or video gaming clubs give girls an alternative to activities that focus on their appearance.

* Comprehensive Sexuality Education - “A central way to help youth counteract distorted views presented by the media and culture about girls, sex and the sexualization of girls is comprehensive sex education. Programs must include accurate information about reproduction and contraception, the importance of delaying intercourse initiation for young people, and the building of communication skills, and promotes a notion of sexual responsibility that includes respect for oneself and an emphasis on consensual, non-exploitative sexual activity.” Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s something that’s irked me for years but has just really hit home because it’s now happening to little ol’ me. As a PT working mama (yes, I made the switch a month or so ago, well timed with the sunny NW skies if I do say so myself), I no longer contribute to my social security and other retirement systems at nearly the rate I did when I was employed full-time. SAHM/Ds, none at all. Hmmmm… so where does that land us when it’s time to retire? Not well prepared for retirement, that’s where. A lovely way for Uncle Sam to thank us for hanging with the kids. Family values? Uh, help me find them, mamas, because I can’t find them in the tax code! Read the rest of this entry »

(Image: Source Zimbio. Photo by None/Getty Images North America. Taken at a a live taping of Meet the Press at NBC Studios July 13, 2008 in Washington, DC. Even Carly Fiorina, a top McCain surrogate, called birth control a choice.)

In other women’s rights trampling, the Bush Administration is doing the quick step to achieve as many of its oppressive agenda points as possible before the President’s term ends. This week’s big move?

Removing the blockade and letting anti-choice activists storm the health care castle in order to not only block women from getting abortions that are, for the record, still legal, but also could classify contraception products as abortions and enable “objectors” to prevent women from accessing those too.

They call it “preventing discrimination” in hiring on the basis of “religious belief” but it’s clear—after reading all 39 pages of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) proposed rule document—what it really is: trying to cut the legs out from under Roe v. Wade.

What does the document say? (Click here to read the complete PDF, provided courtesy of RH Reality Check.)

Read the rest of this entry »

CONTEST DEADLINE: Wednesday, July 9, 2008.

I think politics are for moms. It doesn’t matter that the system is not set up for it and the people in the system aren’t that great about accommodating moms—all those meetings! no childcare! time and money demands!—because at the end of the day the best chance for the future sits in a mom’s lap, probably dripping something on her pants.

However, I’ve heard so many moms say they haven’t got time to research the issues or candidates (total sympathy here), become overwhelmed each time they try to put time to learning more about candidates and issues, or simply don’t consider themselves political.

I think they are missing the things they do on a daily basis that are political. I don’t think some moms give themselves enough credit for what they do. There are more ways to be political than going to candidate fundraisers or hanging out with local political parties—although I suggest doing this at least a few times. It’s amazing what you learn from candidates in person at a house party!

Moms are experts on many important issues, such as education and health care, and I know many women who found themselves caring about these things on a broader level after becoming a mom.

In the new book, The Maternal is Political (edited by Shari MacDonald Strong), women writers share their stories of how motherhood influenced their ideas and feelings about social issues (that are typically political issues). (Click on the keep reading button to learn more about the book and how to enter the contest.)
Read the rest of this entry »

The Maternal Is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood & Social Change
Edited by Shari MacDonald Strong
Seal Press
352 pgs, $15.95
ISBN: 1-58005-243-6

Something definitely changes when you become MOTHER. Besides all the physical,emotional and mental aspects; the sleepless nights, cranky babies, the thought of being able to fit into your pre-baby jeans. You become more aware of the world and your place in it, of what is happening around you. You see things with a mother’s eye. One of the essays, In Albania, by Mona Gable, captures this new view absolutely. Here she recounts her time in Albania as a reporter during the Kosovo conflict-Balkan wars with the new eyes of a mother: “The lens of motherhood would filter everything I was to witness…..”. Read the rest of this entry »

by Ann Bibby

Although it shouldn’t be so, John McCain’s views on women’s issues like fair pay and birth control access aren’t as widely known as they should be. In fact McCain’s positions and thoughts about women are outdated enough that I find it hard to believe more isn’t being said.

Pundit Mom posted a great piece with must read links the other day on McCain’s missing (deliberately) the vote on the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and his opinion that women who want equal pay consideration should simply update their skill sets.

And here’s a video from The Real John McCain which sums up his views on birth control options which in a McCain presidency would amount to none.

We workin’ mamas do love to complain about the lack of flexible options in our own and other workplaces (got a 1/2 hour??). Ever dream of working fewer hours to pick the kids up from school yourself, still doing meaningful work that pays the same as your full-time gig? Dying to spend more time doing crafts? Helping with homework? Not pumping?All good stuff that can be awfully challenging within the confines of a conventional 40+ hour work week. So, if you need to work, want to work, whatever your schtick, and you’re seeking more flexibility to tip the scales a bit more toward the home life, one option is job sharing. Or so I’ve heard.

When I returned to full-time work when my first child was three months old, I worked four 10-hour days - ugh. But lucky, lucky for me my husband took the next three months off; he could because he’s self-employed; no health benefits but there are serious upsides - namely flexibility and control over the almighty schedule. At the time there was a whole spread in our local paper about two public school teachers who job shared a classroom. I was amazed. And so jealous. As with anything, of course, there are trade-offs - pros and cons for both the job sharers and their workplace. But I can only imagine because I’ve never known anyone to do it. Which is precisely why I’m asking you!! Read the rest of this entry »

By Ann Bibby

Does anyone remember Ally McBeal? And her therapist? The one who suggested she find a theme song for herself? I have a soundtrack for my life. I think that most people do. Perhaps it’s not appropriate but The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go is my theme music of late.

When I emigrated to Canada not quite a year ago with my then nearly five year old daughter, it was with the understanding that I would be taking the 2008/09 school year off. My husband to be was in a position that allowed me to be a stay at home mother for the first time in my child’s life and my status as an immigrant meant that I couldn’t seek employment until I’d gone through the process of becoming a permanent resident anyway. I was set to work on my writing and be just a wife and mother. Note the order of the aforementioned and the word “just”. Telling is it not?

I came of age in the early 80’s. During the “women can have it all” phase of the movement. I fell in line like so many others. Got my degree. Established my “career”. Married and procreated in my middle 30’s - barely.

And I discovered that I could not “have it all”. Read the rest of this entry »